When first accepted into University to study a Bachelor of Law/Bachlor of Arts, I was over the moon. I couldn’t believe God had given me the marks I needed to get there. I was on the path to the career I had dreamed of since year 6. Today I am now into my sixth year at University.
You would think by now law school and I would have a friendship where I just accept that he is the annoying friend, that over shares his problems and requires copious amounts of counselling into the wee hours of the night. Unfortunately this isn’t the case. I still get scared that the problems he comes to me with will be too big for me to handle. That I won’t solve his problems and that in the mean time I will get dragged down with him and we will never walk into the light (ie. the end of his woefully unrealistic legal problems/end of law school/me being an awesome lawyer).
Minus the engaged and married part of the meme (tick!), this is how I felt last week. Coupled with overwhelming uni work, I was ready to throw the towel in. My back up plan was to become a Mum. No one would question my motives for leaving uni, and the stress would be alleviated. Don’t worry, this isn’t the post where I tell you I’M PREGNANT! (I’m laughing at you if you scrolled to that with hope/shock/judgement/happiness! :P)
Instead I had a friend shake me with throwing a verbal glass of water in my face to the effect of ‘this is what you’ve always dreamed of, you can’t give it up to become a Mum before you get there!’. He reminded me that God had called me to be a lawyer so I could help others – why else would he have given me the dream from a young age? Why else would I have gotten into studying law and never failed a subject (in fact getting reasonable marks)? Why else would I have an awesome job at a law firm? I can assure you it was not my work that did this!! He reminded me that being a lawyer is a prestigious career! Doubt had caused my clear light to the end to be filled with dense fog.
I NEED YOUR HELP THIS YEAR FRIENDS Remind me that I want to be a lawyer for a while before becoming a Mum and that I will get to enjoy both in God’s timing. Remind me it’s okay to be a hermit and take on less commitments. Remind me I can do it and send me songs like this to motivate me:
The fog is slowly passing but my annoying friend, law school, will still be around this year. Pray the weather stays sunny so I can focus, and that I trust the God who has always provided for me so that any shackles of doubt may be quickly kicked to the curb, so I can dance again.