For a two letter word, ‘no’ can be one of the hardest to speak with polite assertiveness. Do you struggle to say no to people in social or work situations? Even when it comes at your own cost? I do. I’m a ‘people pleasure’ by nature and often, it works to my detriment. To spend so much time and energy with or for other people, leaves me little time to do the things that I actually need to do (like uni, work, being a wife, blogging, cleaning the house, having some leisure time).
It drives me up the wall because I know I bring it on myself. Can you relate? I’m slowly learning to say no in an effort to care for myself and create some time for me; but I want to share with you some thing’s I’ve learnt along the way because I know many of you would benefit from this too.
Why do we always say ‘yes’, even when we know it’s bad for us?
This desire comes from an underlying lack of both self-worth and confidence, which leads to apprehension around upsetting or annoying other people, resulting in putting others’ needs before their own. The unconscious goal is to find acceptance and validation by pleasing those around us.
Looking to other’s needs before your own is not wrong, however it’s important to learn to make decisions that look after you also. Putting yourself first sometimes, allows you to be in good health so you can best care for others.
Click the arrow below to learn how to say no!