After 3.5 months apart due to an army deployment, my son Finn (21 months old) was going to be with his Dad again. Our mid-deployment family reunion was highly anticipated and I wanted to make it something memorable for all of us, but particularly a time for Finn to reconnect with his Dad. You see, we have FaceTime whilst he’s away but it’s much harder for a toddler to connect with someone like this.
So how does a child best build relationships and feel connected? I asked creative play and parenting expert, Dr Justin Coulson before I left, and his advice was amazing! Even if you don’t have time apart from your loved ones, this creative play advice is essential for any parents or friends of toddlers.
Developing relational connectedness with toddlers is simpler than you think
PLAY, PLAY, PLAY. See? It’s simple and fun!
According to Dr Coulson, creative play – the kind of play where children connect with others and use their imagination and their hands – leads to great learning outcomes and is an amazing way to build connectedness. Dr Coulson recommends playing with toys like DUPLO or other things around the home like cushions and sheets which you can build a cubby house with.
Creative Play allows development in areas of relatedness, competence, and autonomy
“There’s an important reason play matters so much to young children. Research shows that they need it to thrive (as do we). In fact, play is one of the most essential experiences children can be immersed in to equip them for later life. The more they do it, the better off they may be.” Dr Coulson said DUPLO creates space for three vital needs to be met in toddler’s lives: relatedness, competence, and autonomy:
Relatedness
Creating real connections and develop relational skills, learning how to communicate, managing conflict, collaborating, and bonding with parents, siblings, and friends.
Competence
The best kinds of play are not about consumption, but creation, enabling kids to explore the limits of their physical surroundings, and experience a sense of competence when they succeed – which makes them feel motivated and happy.
Autonomy
Toddlers develop a sense that they’re in control when they play. They do what feels intrinsically motivating – it makes them confident, resourceful, and resilient.
Dr Coulson’s creative play tips for parents
To give our toddler’s the best head start in life, these are Dr Coulson’s creative play tips for parents:
- Put the screens away and do something creative. Grab LEGO or DUPLO and build, make a cubby house with cushions, boxes and blankets, or make something in the kitchen.
- Get down on the floor with them. They want you in their world.
- Let your child take the lead. The more you can encourage and support their autonomy, the more they’ll explore, create, and remain motivated.
- Encourage talking. Lots. Playtime allows us to build strong relationships and communication skills.
- Role Play. As children ‘pretend’ to be the horse or the mum or the teacher, they develop cognitive, relational, and communication skills.
- Make sure that play is unstructured. This allows the children to use their imagination and creativity to make play whatever they want it to be.
- Encourage games and toys that are open-ended. Rather than there just being one way to do things, a child can develop endless possibilities in their play without feeling boxed in.
- Live in the moment and be playful. We often think about dinner, or other things on our agenda, when we play with our kids. Instead, let go of the worries and dive right in. Play in the here and now.
Solutions for home and away play
I was very on board with the LEGO suggestion because not only would it be fun when we got there, but it would give me something additional to entertain Finn with on the flight. Plus, Reis STILL loves LEGO (he gets me to buy it for him each birthday, haha!), so I thought it would be something he would like to bond with Finn over. I much prefer encouraging creative play with Finn than giving him a TV show or iPad to play with. In fact, whilst Reis has been away I think we only turned on the TV 3 times and that was when we had people over! This is also because I don’t tend to watch much TV. I just don’t enjoy it that much and so forget to turn it on. I would rather be outdoors playing with Finn, going for a walk, or pampering myself or creating a new recipe for the blog.
Father son connection during and after the holiday
Anyway, as you can see, LEGO came with us to Thailand and between that and time in the pool, it was a whole 11 days of family bonding filled with creative, relaxing play. I am so thankful for this precious and refreshing time we had together. 
Mama Mission accomplished
Now, when Finn talks to Reis on FaceTime (Reis went straight back to the Middle East), he is more interested and conversational which makes my heart sing because it shows me that they connected well on holidays. Now only another 2.5 months to go until our precious little family can reconnect again (Honey the dog included too!).
PS Thailand itself was AMAZING – but that’s for another post 😉
LEGO Giveaway (2 boxes valued at $69.99 each)
The LEGO pictured here was gifted to me but as always I don’t like to keep all the cool gifts to myself. Without readers like you, this blog would be nothing, so I like to give back through giveaways and I have 2 sets of LEGO DUPLO for two lucky people to win.
Sharing is caring
Share this blog post with your friends and family that would also like to win some LEGO for their kids, or might just find Dr Coulson’s advice interesting! There also are incentives for this when you enter below.
Good luck! Competition closes midnight 2 July 2018, Australian entrants only.
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Dr Coulson’s tips were really informative and great to read. However what really stuck out for me in this article was that you had only watched tv 3 times! In my house the tv is on everyday! You’ve inspired me to have a ‘screen free ‘ day and night and see how we go 🙂
I would use this with grandchildren when they visit so that we have creative, intercity play materials in our house that are different to their own belongings.
*interactive, as well as intercity!
This would be a great thing for my wife and I to interact with our 6 year old. He is really getting into building with Duplo at the moment so it would be great to have more for him to play with
This is an interesting article thank you. And my grandson would love this lego
This lego would go to my little cousins who are Lego fanatics.
My biggest barrier in keeping me healthy is stopping the cravings of all of the yummy bad foods. Sometimes I just give in and feel extra guilty afterwards.
This would be perfect for my little ones, especially over the school holidays, The hardest challenge I find for staying healthy and motivated is finding extra time in my day. With work and family commitments, its hard to find the time,
Thanks for the article, given me some great ideas for play with my grandson
The only thing my husband really knows how to play is leggo (or blocks) and ball kicking but neither of my two sons mind. They just are happy to be doing something with him
Would simply love to give my niece for her little boy
I love the idea of this website. Eat, pray, workout!! That is very awesome. Having a proper diet, pray and exercise are no doubt the keys to be fit and jolly. Very nice approach.
Appreciated
winning this great prize would be an ideal way for me to spend more quality time with my grandson
As a shift worker I find it hard to find the energy to workout after work. I would love to see my husband and toddler bonding over some Lego.
This is will be in home on hand for when the grandchildren visit.
Age is really catching up with me so it’s aching bones etc that is my biggest barrier.
My little one. It would be amazing for him to learn and coordinate as he loves Lego.
My biggest barrier is chocolate. It’s my weakness, however I’m trying to eat dark chocolate to replace normal chocolate
I would have this fab prize on hand for when my grandkids come for a visit.
As I’m getting older my poor old bones are a challenge and struggle everyday.
I would give it to my two kiddies – they love their Lego! This would keep them entertained and away from the iPad.
I find it hard to eat healthy because, simply put, I lack self control!
I’d share it with my daughter to help us prioritise playtime which is a challenge amid all the crazy times!
my friend has nephews and love anything Leggo’s and i’m sure they will love this prize
Amy this one is great. I still love LEGO too 🙂 and as I struggle to take part in open role playing games with little ones this gives me something I can create with them and helps to connect!
Also love the reminder to be PRESENT!!!
Shopping whilst managing a toddler and baby. So challenging.
This is a great idea for interacting with my son. It’s also something that I could do with him as I’m currently limited by a knee injury.
I’d love to pass this onto my niece so she could play Lego with her dad!
My biggest barrier health wise is temptation, I work in a snack bar and co- workers always shoving food in my face saying “try this”!
This prize would be ideal for my son. I love watching his imagination grow, he would have so much fun. Creative play can be hard at times, but as a family we even come up with our own Nursery Rhymes.
I’m self-conscious about how I look, leaving me unhappy most of the day. Food then gets the best of me, mind over matter, I think I should meditate and pray.
I play this with my little girl and she would love it even more because it has horses. My biggest barrier is severely separated stomach muscles.
Great prize, the lego box is the most used toy in the house.
I would give the Lego to my new grandson Wyatt. I have trouble meeting my health goals because my wife won’t let me go to the gym as she gets extremely jealous.I also love my comfort food.